CONVERSATION

As a father of 4 I take great pride in my children. Like all kids they have made some decisions that have turned out real well for them and some decisions that have not turned out so hot. But that is the part of growing up that will help define their lives.

Living so far apart from all of them has me an emotional wreck at times. I miss out on so much. So, phone calls and of course text messaging are very important. I love it when from out of nowhere one of my kids text (which is how it usually happens) because that's most all our nature now. It's easy, convenient and simple. Now when one of them picks up the phone and actually calls to say "hey dad", that means a lot to me. Tells me that I might just be on their mind as much as they are on mine.

Now, on the other hand, it is even more difficult when you continually reach out to one of your children through phone calls and of course text messages and get nothing back. No answer, no returned call or not even a returned text. That is the back breaking moment when your mind begins to wander over every decision you have ever made in your life. Where did I go wrong to deserve this from my blood? I would like to think not but then again you never know when you can't talk to them.

The paths I have been on in my life have put me on way too many roads....but those roads have made me who I am. I know these paths have hurt people that were in them as well as hurt me as I was traveling them. I have done and will continue to do the best I possibly can. I am sorry if it hasn't been perfect for everyone involved but God didn't make me to be perfect, He made me to be me. To do the right things, follow the right paths and to hopefully be a good person to others.

I don't care what I have as far as "things" in my life. I just want my family.

April

April Fools must be a thing that I got a kick out of when I was younger. Not once today did anyone try the April Fool thing on me and I didn't try it on anyone else.

I think today should be a day we celebrate like we do on St' Patricks Day, Memorial Day or the 4th of July and Labor Day but we don't. Probably because there isn't anyone that would believe anything we said or did.

I spent the day working. Came home and worked some more and did various chores around the house. Cleaned the house up a bit and then myself. Made some supper and turned on Slingblade and started deleting documents off my computer that needed to find their way to the recycle bin. Kind of funny how everything that I deleted I ended up reading even though I knew what it was before I opened it. One of those strange days.

To me this should have been a special day for certain reasons but it wasn't. It was more like a knife in the back. I guess that is why I did what I did. Some things just need laid to rest and given up on. The world is ever changing and so are the people in it. I guess the bullshit will never stop.

Veterans Day

Today is a day that really completes me as a person. My emotions run very high and I have a strong love for all that have, do and will serve our country. I look at them as my brothers and sisters no matter what branch of service they choose.

Today, my day started off just like any other day would. A little bit of a drive to my first account. During that drive I received two text messages from people I didn't think would ever text me on this day. Both text messages were nearly identical and I know they don't know each other. "Thank you for my freedom"!!! I can not explain how big the goose bumps were after reading these messages. Tears approach, my heart beat excels; I start reflecting back to 23 years ago when I made the commitment to become a Marine. I think about some of my friends who lost their lives while we were in Desert Storm. I think about what their families are feeling on this day. My heart goes out to them all.

I can only speak for me about what Veterans Day means to me. It is the one thing in my life that I am truly proud of doing. I now realize I didn't do it for me. I did it for every single person in America. I sacrificed plenty during my service but I did not give the ultimate sacrifice. The ones that did are the only hero's and role models that I would ever consider having in my life. Selfless acts for millions of people that will never know their name or give a shit if they ever do.

There is so much taken for granted in this country. I see it every single day. It fricken burns me up inside. People think their life is turning upside down over the littlest things. Well we have control over the little things. Don't be lazy and get it handled. They have been spoon fed over their whole damn life and they can't deal with a little adversity. I am not talking about people that battle cancer, losing their jobs, their home, or anything to that nature. I am talking about petty assed shit. You want to know what stress is live in those peoples shoes. Live a day with the military that is in a combat situation. Not knowing if the next step you take puts you on a land mine that takes your legs off.

Acknowledge the Veterans that you know on this day every year. Trust me. They will appreciate it beyond belief. Being a Veteran means that I know I was willing to take one for the team (USA). I didn't, but too many have. I am so grateful for all Veterans. God Bless America!!!