Decisions

Too many to make and not enough time to make them. I am not usually at a loss for words. You can ask anyone that knows me and I have a come-back or a comment on anything that can be delivered my way. For the most part, that is the nut ball inside of me. But when you have to make that decision that is as far on the serious side as it can get, I can clamp down and figure it out. No smart assed replies or comments. Just a sincere way of handling it.

I am heading back to Nebraska on Saturday and am wondering how to handle one of the biggest decisions of my life. It's not for me.......but for someone that is very dear to my heart. I want to do the right thing as well as say the right things but have found I am very fearful of approaching the topic. Can't really let out what it is but it does involve a family member and some wishes they have.

Things like this usually come to me pretty quick and I have the "plan of attack" all mapped out but this one time I am no farther ahead now than I was Saturday when I found out. It has me a bit troubled. I have prayed for guidance figuring I would have a direction by now but it's not here yet. Maybe that 13 hour drive back on Saturday will lead me the right way. I'm not real sure.

I want the best for ALL involved. I am just clueless as to how to show that. The people I need to talk with don't care about my words or the others feelings, only what they can gain from the circumstance. It almost seems like a lose - lose situation. I wish I could tell more but I can't. Just needed to use this to rant a little.

Thanks for reading.

Same time evey year

Why does December bring this on? Every year it's the same ole song and dance. December hits and I couldn't give a crap about anything; but I want to. Everything that goes on around me gives me an ill feeling. I look way to deep into things that are said, actions that are taken and I doubt too much.

When I do have that good vibe going and I try and spread cheer I feel that nobody cares. Are they going through the same things I am? Everything seems so..........artificial, non-sincere.

I try and try. I want this to be a good time like the other 11 months seem to be for me. Maybe this year it is because a lot is weighing on my mind. I'm not real sure.

Contacts vs Glasses

So yesterday I went and decided to make the switch from glasses to contacts. My first worries were getting them in. Found out that is not a problem. So then I worried I couldn't get them out. That is not a problem. So this morning I found out what the problem was going to be..........getting my fat fingers in that little hole you store them in every night while sleeping. I tried and tried this morning to get the right one out. Couldn't do it. So I decided to try the left one. I got it, finally. Put it in no problem. Went back to try the right side again. It magically disappeared. I finally found it on the sink staring at me like the money from Geico does in it's commercials. I'm glad I didn't lose it.

Top Tens

My top tens in no particular order of importance or favorite.

PET PEEVES

1). If you are going to drive and talk on your cell phone, that is fine. Just please remember how to drive.
2). Pulling out in front of a person and causing them to stop fast so they don't hit you and then turning off at the next turn.
3). A Donkey on the poker table.
4). High interest rates on credit cards.
5). The economy.
6). People who say they will and then don't.
7). A person that doesn't give you an aknowledgement wave you when you let them in front of you on a busy street or highway.
8). People who blame anything but themselves for THEIR failure.
9). Being asked my telephone number/account number AFTER I already entered it using the keypad on my phone. I thought I was supposed enter that info to "better assist me".
10). How commercials are so much louder than the TV shows.


CONCERTS

1). Godsmack
2). AC/DC
3). Garth Brooks
4). Iron Maiden
5). Metallica
6). Disturbed
7). Violent Femmes
8). Nickelback
9). Dave Matthews
10). The Eagles

SONGS

1). Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald--Gordon Lightfoot
2). Sounds of Silence--Simon and Garfunkel
3). Sick of Life--Godsmack
4). Bitches Brewin'--Candlebox
5). Night Wolf--Krokus
6). No Love--Tarnished
7). Master of Puppets--Metallica
8). 2112--Rush
9). Walk Away From the Sun--Seether
10). Stinkfist--Tool

MOVIES

1). Shawshank Redemption
2). The Green Mile
3). Boondock Saints
4). Radio
5). Slingblade
6). The Big Lebowski
7). The Bourne Movies
8). Underworld
9). The Italian Job
10). Rounders

CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT

1). Cell Phone
2). Sunglasses
3). In depth conversation
4). My children, friends and family
5). Music
6). Laughter
7). Positive attitude
8). Husker football
9). My job
10). Faith

Beautiful

I have often wondered over my days on this earth how I have looked at the word beautiful. To some beautiful is a scenic overlook in the mountains. To others it’s the ocean or tropical paradise. To some that have their priorities all screwed up; it is money. Maybe it is the sound of a little baby laughing. The sound of a slot machine paying out a jackpot. Hearing your children tell you how much they love you. But most of us think of beautiful as the physical appearance of a person. I will not deny that there are a lot of beautiful people out there.

My thoughts are different on beautiful. What is beautiful to me? Beautiful is a person that can look past the physical defects you have. The one that no matter what has happened to you will be there for you to lend support, an ear to listen or sometimes some much need constructive criticism.

Beautiful won’t judge you……EVER, for something that you have done in your past. Beautiful will forgive you when you ask for forgiveness. Beautiful will touch your hand like it’s never been touched before. Beautiful looks into your eyes and you feel they feel the same as you. "What a beautiful person I’m looking at"!

Beautiful is way beyond the outside of our body. It is a part of it of course. We all see the outer beauty of someone differently. Too many don’t look anywhere but the outer beauty. What about finding the inner beauty?

Beautiful is finding a heart that gives and doesn’t care what it gets back in return, other than the great feeling that it gave; and it mattered. Beautiful is there for you day and night and tells you so. Beautiful values your opinion and likes to hear what your opinions are. Beautiful also speaks to you with kindness, honesty, sincerity and passion.

Beautiful is missed when it is absent for a long period of time.

It is such a great thing to see and understand this kind of “Beautiful”!