.......that he loved me today! Which came as a shock when I heard it before we hung up the phone. In my 43 years I can count on one hand how many times I have heard him say this directly to any of his children. There are 5 of us. It made me feel real warm inside. Proud would be a better word.
What took so long? Is there something wrong? I had these questions in my head so I had to call back and ask why after this many years can you tell me this with such conviction that I damned near wrecked. Don't get me wrong, I have been waiting to hear this for the 43 years it has taken him to say it, so I was not complaining but had to be sure there wasn't something wrong. I have come to understand that it's not my father's nature to show feelings. It's how he was brought up. That is the way most people his age are. Not all but a lot.
"All is good" he said. He explained, that after 68 years has seen some light and by watching his children with his grandchildren over this time a light finally went off on how open we all are with each other about anything. I have that with my father now but I wouldn't tell him "anything" when I was growing up for the fear of criticism. He went on to say it was neat to see how his kids didn't judge their kids but gave them another way to look at things and something for them to consider. Our openness to them about our past experiences when we were their age was good for him to see.
We all have our drawbacks. But we all have a lot of good in us. Why is all the focus on that one misstep? Where is the focus on all the good as people we bring to the world, to our family, to those around us? Too many love strongly for a little while and then it goes away. Why isn't one of the strongest emotions we can display out there all the time? Why go in a shell after so long? We all need to work on keeping the love alive and put every effort into it on a daily basis. It will make us stronger, our children stronger, the world stronger. Smile at your neighbor; shake their hand. Love your significant other with conviction; hug her. Praise your children; love them with emotion. Let it be contagious.
I love you too Dad. I love all of you.
She Was six Years Old
8 years ago
