GOODBYE

I live way over here and my children live way over there. So when we have the chance to see each other it is a great joy but a difficult time when we must go back to our lives.

For the last four days my youngest son was in Tennessee with me and we had a blast. It didn't matter what we did, when we did it or for how long it lasted. The important part was that we were together. It was a GREAT feeling and I miss the feeling already!!! The last couple of hours have been very emotional for me and I am sure for him as well because of what we are together.

We had our chances to have some very open conversation together. I know he would tell me anything and not worry about being judged. I won't judge him but try to teach him from the mistakes I made because I acted instead of thinking things through at the same age.

He was very open to me about how he wants to be with me and not where he lives now. That is a great feeling but a difficult pill to swallow because of the circumstances. It broke my heart to put him back on a plane and send him somewhere that doesn't make him happy but just adds to his misery. That is why it is SO hard for me to say "goodbye" to him.

It's not like we won't see each other again but we also know the outcome when we do. It, like all the other times, will come to an end and we will go through the same emotions and feelings as we always do. I don't have this thought with just him; I have it with all my children. The more they grow and have their own lives it becomes a little easier but when they are that young and rely on a parent to help them through the high school years it is extremely nerve racking.

I know that no matter what or with whom it is in every persons best interest to make the most of their time together. Love them like you want to be loved. Know when they need you, even if they say they don't and know when to give space. NO matter how tired or dragged out you are, if someone needs something find the power to be there for them. There may be a day when the situation is reversed. More than likely there will be a day and maybe more than one.

I LOVE my children and the people around me with all my heart!!! But when it comes to saying goodbye it is not any fun.